Chaos at WalMart
by Trisana Tennant
Summary: An Alternate Universe in which the nations are teenagers going through the list of ways to get kicked out of Wal-Mart.
1. Introduction

As soon as they received the text from Alfred F. Jones, they all leapt into action. Heracles Karpusi arrives first, bringing his boyfriend, Kiku Honda. "Awesome!" yells Alfred, marking something on pieces of paper.

Gilbert Beilschmidt arrives next with a van full of people, including his boyfriend, Alfred's brother, Matthew Williams, his brother, Ludwig Beilschmidt, the Italians brothers, Lovino Vargas and Feliciano. Feliciano was dating Ludwig and Lovino was dating one of Gilbert's two best friends Antonio Carriedo. The last two out were Gilbert's other best friend Francis Bonnefoy and his boyfriend, Arthur Kirkland. Alfred laughed in delight and wrote even more.

"Big brother!" yelled a voice suddenly and all paled. Alfred's boyfriend, Ivan Braginski, runs up, out of breath with his younger sister, Natalya Arlovskaya, right behind.

"Did you have to bring her?" asked Arthur.

"I did not want to, da?" Ivan replied.

"Dude, it's cool, man," Alfred shot back. "The more, the merrier."

Just then a car pulled in and out came Berwald, Tino and Peter. Berwald and Tino were dating and babysitting Arthur's younger brother, Peter. Peter spots Arthur and shouts. "It's the British jerk."

Berwald looks at him and says "I d's'appr've."

He shuts up as a bicycle built for three almost runs over them. "Sorry, Peter," yelled Raivis Galante. "Feliks is sitting on Toris and he's the lead."

"Like, this is so totally the best trip ever!" shouted Feliks before the bike falls and all tumble off. Feliks lands on Toris and gets squished by Eduard Von Bock. Poor Raivis flew and landed at Ivan's feet.

"Privyet, little Raivis!" Ivan greeted him happily.

"H-Hi, Mister Ivan," Raivis said before running away.

Feliks was happily hugging a now bruised Toris when a camera flashed. Elizabeta Hedervary skipped up with her boyfriend Roderich Edelstein in tow, followed closely by Vash Zwiligi and his little sister Lily. Ivan's last sister, Katyusha, brought up the rear.

One more car pulls in and out climbs Im Yong Soo, Kiku's younger brother. If Kiku wasn't Japanese, he would have made a sarcastic comment. Their older brother, Wang Yao, followed closely behind and Alfred's cousin, Steven Walker, who was also Yao's boyfriend, came in last.

Alfred had finished marking by then. "Thanks for coming guys and gals," he adds as a second thought. "This is a list to get kicked out of Wal-Mart. This weekend we do all 335 of them. You guys ready?"

Over half of them cheered. The rest looked doubtful. "What if we get arrested, git?"

"Then you wait and join us at the location. I've rented a van for when we get kicked out to move on to the next one." Alfred replied to Arthur.

"So who does what?" asked Antonio, who was all for it.

"I has the list," said Alfred, "and I have assigned people to each thing."

"Let's go!" cheered all as one.


	2. Battle

_12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men _

Alfred walked into the toy aisle. "This is going to be freaking awesome" he thinks to himself. Since Ivan had taught him all the positions on a chess board, he had a plan. He grabbed every single G.I. Joe figurines and all the X-Men figurines and set up a chess game. He played for hours, shouting things like, "take that X-dude! You are no match for the Hero!" after a while, he had begun to draw a crowd. At one point, Gilbert came to help.

"Knight to kick awesome," Alfred said. Boom! Well at least in his head. The game was won.

Eventually the game had to end because the manager guy came and kicked them out. 


	3. Blink

_131. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink every time it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized. _

Steven set off as soon as his name left Ivan's lips. He finally found a blinking light.

"Blink."

Somebody stared.

"Blink."

Within fifteen minutes, he had drawn a crowd.

"Blink."

All stared the light with him.

"Blink."

Two hours later, all were still blinking.

"Blink."

All activity had ceased throughout the store as all had joined Steven.

"Blink."

The manager ran up to him. "Everybody, move along."

"Blink."

He moved everybody but Steven out.

"Blink."

"Sir, get out."

"Blink."

He was dragged away, still saying blink. Once he was in the van, he told Alfred the story as he texted Ivan. _  
_


	4. Bother

_305. Buy a bag of candy. Start to walk away, and then ask if you can exchange them. Repeat until they get angry__  
_

Alfred read the piece of paper. He looked up with a very solemn look on his face. Giving the bag to Ivan, he mutters, "Wish me luck. If I fail to return, feed Toni Tiger for me. And know that I always loved you." He kissed him and headed off, looking like a man on a mission. Ivan looked scared.

Alfred waits until he is out of site, the skips over to the candy isle. Looking for a yummy bag of candy, he sees a bag of mini mint three musketeers. He grabs the bag and goes to the checkout counter.

"I would to get this candy because I want it and I am the hero." He says as he smiles

"Uh… sure?" the cashier says taking the bag, very unsure if this guy was sane.

"Thanks," he beams, skipping away as the candy was paid for. But then he stops, and turns around. Shoving the receipt in his mouth, he thinks twice and spits it in the trash. With a serious look, he heads over to the customer service desk.

"I would like to return this item, please."

"Do you have a receipt?"

"No."

"Then we can't."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"You sure?"

"Get out and don't come back."

"Aww, come on, pretty please?"

"No, if you don't leave, I will be forced to call security on you."

Using a southern accent, he replies saying,

"Aww, come on ya'll, don't choo wanna do somin for a feller marican?"

"What the hell?" The Cashier gets out the phone and calls security

Alfred makes a break for the van, and as he jumps in, yells, "Allons-y!"


	5. Bowling

_252. Bowl with bottles full of open soda_

The pins had been set up when Alfred arrived with Ivan in tow. He had stolen a turkey to use as a bowling ball. Gilbert went first and rolled a strike. Ivan went to retrieve the turkey. He slipped in the soda and fell, bruising his face. He bowled anyway and limped away. Alfred fell next and knocked over the new pins with his head. The rest fell also until the manager kicked them out.


	6. Check It Out

_16. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out_

When Ivan read it, Francis smiled. He got behind a checkout stand and turned on the light. A young woman came by first. "You're a nice looking lady," he told her as he scanned her items. She paid and headed out.

An old fat man came in next, he flirted with him while charging him for the beer he was buying.

The next was a woman with twins, there was no wedding ring on her finger so he turns on the charm. She giggled and left when she was done.

He had checked a lot of 14 people out when the manager noticed the lines were going much faster. He hopped on the intercom.

"Checkout 13 is not a valid checkout."

Francis got on the intercom. "Oui, it is."

"We have no French employees."

"Oui, you do."

"No."

"Oui."

"No."

"Oui."

"Security!"

Francis ran out the door, making his apologies to the very pretty woman whose phone number he had just gotten. Alfred told Ivan to draw another number.


	7. Gender Confusion

_142. Put women's clothes into men's carts_

Feliks had a shopping cart full of women's clothing. Every time a guy walked by, he dropped an article of clothing in it. He stood there for hours until his cart was empty. He grabbed more clothes and did it again. He even reused the clothes the men had put back. Finally, he got the boot.

Alfred laughed forever before texting Ivan.


	8. Ham

_3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham _

Alfred almost dies laughing. "What is it?" asked Ludwig.

"Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham is Lovino's." He laughed.

Lovino set off, determination in his eyes. He made a detour at the frozen foods and takes a ham. Walking up in line behind an unsuspecting woman, he hits her over the head with the ham. She faints as he slips into the next line. He hits a guy there, and moves on down the line. The sixth person he hit was one of their fellow students, Sadiq something or other from Turkey. He sneaks into the next aisle and hits the guy there. When he passed out, Lovino realizes he just hit the 42nd President of the United States. "Chigi," he said before running. Security chased him out.

"Stop! You have assaulted Bill Clinton." They shouted.

He throws the ham at them. "BASTARDS!" he screamed in triumph as he makes his escape. Alfred cracks up, applauded the Italian to the horror of the rest.

Two of their fellow students join them, Mathias from Denmark and Madeline from the Seychelles. "What's up?" the Dane asks.

"We're just getting kicked out," Alfred replied.

"The list?" asked Madeline.

They nod.

"Cool, can we join?" they ask.

"Yeah," Alfred said. "We're just about to draw another number."


	9. How To Read Minds

_72. Walk up to someone act like you can read their mind & say... sir or madam... don't think that. _

Alfred laughed. "Francis gets the next one." He recited what it is.

Francis skipped off as Arthur facepalmed. He wandered up to a security guard. "Sir, you shouldn't think about your dog like that. It isn't very nice."

He headed off for a nice looking woman. "I agree. I'd fuck me." She gasps as he skipped off to his next victim. A teenage group of girls was walking nearby. "Mademoiselles, you are too young to be thinking about that."

He made a bee line for a married couple. "Indeed, you should treat her to a nice dinner in bed tonight. Candlelight, roses, chocolate, l'amour," he gave his best advice to them.

He kept randomly hitting on people, making perverted comments to some and giving advice on love to everybody.

By the time he rejoined the group, most were asleep. He groped Arthur's ass and he woke up. "Frog!"

The rest awoke with a start. "What is next?" Ivan asks as Alfred drew a number. 


	10. Makeover

_304. Bring in scissors and glue. If anyone asks, tell them you are fulfilling your dream of giving Wal Mart a Make Over. _

Feliks began by stealing half of the material and paint. The shoe section was first. He painted the display cases pink. He moved on to the electronics. All the materials with hearts covered the cases and as he cut holes for the CDs to be seen through, the manager came up and carried him out the door.

"Like, it's my dream," Feliks protested. In revenge he painted the whole building pink.


	11. Murse

_89. Hold Barbie for ransom _

Alfred reads it with a straight face. "Your turn, Feliks!"

"Like, yay!"

Feliks retrieves two water guns and guards the Barbie display. A woman comes up. "Sir, can I please get by?"

"Like, no way."

"Please? I need to get this for my daughter's Christmas present!"

"Like, maybe if…"

"If?"

"You also gift me a tube of lipstick."

She sighs and agrees to make the exchange. He gives her the doll and she gives him the lipstick. This carries on for a while and he soon returns with a murse full of various items, which he proceeds to show Toris.

"Like, this is my new pink handbag. I got it off some old lady who wanted a Russian Barbie doll for her grandson."

"That was my grandmother, da?" Ivan told him.

Alfred died. Ivan hugged him until he woke up. "I'm dating a Barbie collector." Alfred muttered.

"Nyet, I just like collecting Russian things."

Alfred reached into the hat after making Ivan release him. 


	12. Pizza

_254. Order a pizza from the cashier _

Ivan drew a number and raised an eyebrow. "Feliciano gets to ask cashiers for pizza, da?"

Feliciano cheered. "Ve!"

Arthur turned to Ludwig as Feliciano skipped away. "You date him?"

"Ja," Ludwig sighed.

Feli approached cashier and orders a large cheese pizza with a stuffed crust.

"Sir, we don't serve pizza here."

He moves on the next one and orders a small pepperoni pizza with cheesy breadsticks.

"Sir, we don't serve pizza here."

In the next line, he ordered a medium pineapple pizza with ice cream on the side.

"Sir, we don't serve pizza here."

Ten cashiers later, he asked for a pasta pizza.

"Sir, you don't put pasta on pizza and we don't serve pizza here."

When he had asked every cashier, the manager came out. "Sir, get out of my store."

"Ve, can I have a.."

"No, get out."

Feli left, sadly. Alfred texted Ivan the moment he climbed into the van.


	13. Prissy Brit

_118. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that you're a prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture__._

Alfred put a quarter in the machine. Arthur sat near him and watched. "Cheerio," Alfred said to a kid wanting to get on. Eventually the kid gave up and left.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" Arthur asked finally, after Alfred's horrible British accent.

"I'm you!" Alfred told him.

"Excuse me?" Arthur asked.

"A prissy English gay man."

"WHAT THE HELL, GIT!"

Ivan had chosen the moment Arthur started dragging Alfred away to walk over. "Kolkolkol."

The manager showed up and kicked them out.


	14. Russian Doll

_27. Open up random packages in toy aisle then walk off. If an employee asks what you're doing, just say "I've changed my mind."_

Alfred had selected one at random. He read it off. "Who does that one?" asked Natalya.

Alfred grinned. "You," he told her.

She sighed. "I'm only doing this for big brother," she said before walking off.

Ivan shivered and hid behind Alfred. "Man up, darling," Alfred told him.

Natalya walked down the toy aisle. She selected one of her knives at random. She finds herself facing the Russian Barbie left over from the Dolls of the World series. She cut the doll of the package and pocketed it, making a mental note to present it to her brother.

Her next victim was a Mister Potato Head. No scarf for the doll. She starts opening random packages, looking for that scarf. Dolls, head bands, little pieces of plastic small enough to kill scattered the aisle when she opened a closet for Barbies and finds a hot pink scarf. She puts it on the doll and emerges in triumph as two employees come running up.

"Did you do this, ma'am?"one asks her.

"Da!" she exclaims happily.

She is thrown out as Alfred surveys her handiwork with pride.

The toy aisle is shut down as everything is cleaned.

Alfred gives her the keys to the van and Katyusha makes her promise to wait for them. She heads out after stealing a gift bag for the doll. The rest gather by the doors as Alfred draws another number.


	15. Smoking Water

_132. Light a match under a sprinkler_

Alfred cracks up at the number he draws. "Gilbert gets to light a match under the sprinklers."

"Woo hoo!" shouted Gilbert as he ran away. "FIRE!"

"Wouldn't that put the fire out?" asked Ludwig.

"Yeah, the place would fill up with smoke." Alfred replied with a giggle.

Meanwhile, Gilbert had stolen a box of matches and headed for the garden department. He hooked up a sprinkler and started it. The employees didn't notice as it was time to water the plants anyway. He lights every single one and them under the sprinkler. The water put them out right away but room soon filled with smoke. He ran out while the employees milled with confusion. "Kesesese."

He joined the rest. "I didn't get caught."

"Yay!" Alfred cheered. "You get to do more until you caught!"

The rest laughed. Arthur looked nervous. "Okay," he said finally.

Alfred drew another number.


	16. Sprayed

_291. Take a soda, shake it up, and then spray it at people._

Alfred had a cart full of sodas. All were shaken up and every time someone walked by, they were sprayed. He had fun for hours with it. The manager kicked him out after he had been sprayed. _  
_


	17. Swiper

_329. Put a Dora toy on the floor and when someone tries to pick it up, yell, "Swiper No Swiping!" _

Maria found a Dora toy. She set in the middle of the floor. Someone came to pick it up. "Swiper! No Swiping!" They ran away.

Another person came along. "Swiper! No Swiping!"

This happened a good fifteen times before the manager caught her.


	18. Swicheroo

_Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them's cart_

Alfred and Gilbert found two shopping carts, sitting alone. They started switching items around in them.

"Ham?" Gilbert asked.

"Tampons," said Alfred.

They kept switching and snuck off as the people reclaimed their carts. A guy took the cart with the tampons and a woman took the ham. They followed them until they realized the mix up. The guy noticed first. Gilbert followed him as he put everything back and got all the stuff he had lost. Alfred did the same to the woman before they met up at headquarters and drew a new number. _  
_


	19. Tequila

_218. Change the music on the intercom to Mexican_

Ivan drew the number and read it. All looked confused as a voice laughed. "I'll do it," Alfred's sister had joined them. Maria, a Mexican, slid out of her seat and slipped into the office. The song cut off in the middle of a Billy Joel song and was replaced by Tequila by the Champs. Maria quickly programmed a playlist and locked it.

She quietly slipped out and rejoined them, winking at Antonio as the room suddenly shouted Tequila. 


	20. Typewriter

_62. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters _

Ivan found a row full of typewriters. There were seven of them.

_Become one with Gallifrey, da?_

_Kolkolkol sonic screwdriver_

_Are you my tzar?_

_Captain Kirk has been banished to Siberia._

_The angels have my vodka._

_The Trouble with Anton Chekhov._

_The Doctor became an Atheist in Moscow._

He sneaks away before someone else came down the aisle. He lingered in the next aisle and listened to them react.

"What the hell?" the guy said finally.

He snuck back in and picked one.

_Dar fishy fishy fish_

He ran away then, avoiding capture and banishment from Wal-Mart.


	21. Back

_241. Act like an old lady and scream, "AH! I broke my back! This wouldn't happen at Target!" _

Yao limped into the produce department. He slipped in a pool of water. "OW! I BROKE MY BACK! THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN AT TARGET! I SHALL SUE YOU FOR ALL YOU ARE WORTH, ARU!"


	22. Carrots

_170. Pour carrots on the floor so the employees have to pick it up. Continue doing it for a long period of time._

Tino got up and headed for the produce department, on his way he knocked over the display of carrots. "Sorry!"

Once it was set back up, he did it again, and again and again until the manager hauled him out, unaware of an angry Berwald behind him.


	23. Embarrassment

_2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment._

Antonio spotted a young couple pushing their carts in the bread aisle. He ran up to them. "Hi!"

"Hi?" He was asked.

"I haven't seen you in forever! How have you been?"

"Good?" the man said.

"Like, OMG, it has been forever!" the girl said. "We finally got married last year."

"Great! My little girl is all grown up!"

"Yes! I am!"

"Time to go, honey." The man said, insulted.


	24. Housewares

_17. Go up to an employee and in a official tone say "code three in house ware" and see what happens _

Feliciano walked up to a cashier. "Code three in housewares."

The cashier picked up his phone. "Code three in housewares."

Security went running. "There's nothing in housewares but this Russian kid."


	25. Plushies

_110. Tie a plushie to one end of a string your ankle to the other end, and run around screaming "HELP! IT'S AFTER ME!" _

Raivis, Eduard and Toris headed to the arts and crafts where they took a pair of scissors and three balls of yarn. Raivis picked orange, Eduard brown and Toris green. Then they headed for the toy department. Raivis picked a Scottish Terrier plushie. Eduard grabbed a bear plushie. Toris got a doll that looked like Ivan. Then they went into yarn cutting mode. Eduard had a ruler so they used that to measure the exact space they wanted in between them and the plushies. Then they tied them to their ankles and decided to race to the housewares. "Help!" Raivis shouted.

"It's after me!" Eduard screamed.

Toris ran in silence as both the Ivan doll and the real Ivan chased him. Ivan ducked out of sight as the manager arrived and dragged the three out, after rescuing the toys.


	26. Security

_222. Scream "SECURITY!" as loud as you can. When they come up act all panicky and say "This is really important!" Then smile and say, "Hi."_

Feliciano stood in the middle of the electronics section. "SECURITY! SECURITY! PASTA! SECURITY! VE! SECURITY!"

An officer came running to him. "What's the matter, kid?"

"This is really important, ve?" Feliciano gasped.

"What?"

Feliciano smiled. "HI!"

The security officer fainted. _  
_


	27. Spies

_41. Dress up in a trench coat & wear sunglasses. Walk up to someone browsing and say "The rooster is in the nest" Wait for a reply. After they finish talking, hand them a cap gun and whisper "use this wisely."_

Arthur ducked into the bathroom. When he emerged he looked like a new man. Surely he wouldn't be recognized in his trench coat, and the glasses Alfred had given him. The ones with the mustache and the nose. To top it off he had a purple wig, styled to look like Lady Gaga. He headed for the shoe department. Picking up a pair of heels, he walks up to the first person he sees. Handing him one of the shoes, he says, "The rooster is in the nest."

"Well, duh," said the other person.

Arthur handed him a cap gun. "Use this wisely." The man turns to give him a puzzled look, but sees that Arthur is gone. Arthur had put his hands over his head, and ran screaming to the nearest shoe store. When he arrived, he asked the cashier for a cheeseburger.

Back in the van, he meets his fellow rebels, for nice long laugh.


	28. Swing

_86. Swing on the half price banners_

Yao looked determined. He leapt up and grabbed a hold of the huge half-price banner. Then he started to swing. "WHEE, ARU!" He drew a crowd waiting to swing as well. The manager and security filed around in a panic. "WHEE, ARU!" He jumped down when his mother started shouting at him. _  
_


	29. Wig

_301. Put on a long wig and claim to be Pocahontas_

Alfred ducked into the costume aisle and came out with a long dark wig. He walked up to a cashier. "I'm a fucking princess!"

"No, you aren't," the man behind him said.

"Yes, I am. I'm Pocahontas."

"She's been dead for years," he pointed out.

"I'm a zombie! Brains!"

The wig was knocked off his head. "Damn," he slumped off, pouting._  
_


	30. Beds

_150. Start jumping on one of their beds or attempt to fall asleep until one guy tells you to get off. Then yell 'HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET AWAY FROM MY BED!" _

Arthur was tired. He went to the furniture department and laid down one of the beds. "Excuse me, sir, you need to get off." One man said.

"HEY! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? FRANCIS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET AWAY FROM MY BED!"

The guy turned out to be security. He was picked up off the bed and thrown outside. _  
_


	31. Bum

_176. Walk around in dirty cloths and eat all the produce like a bum._

Alfred put on the clothes he had worn a week ago and walked out of the restroom. He picked up a carrot and ate it.

"Sir, you have to pay for that."

He kept eating the produce until security kicked him out.


	32. Buried

_56. Hide under a big pile of clothes and throw random objects at people when they walk by_

Gilbert started pulling clothes off the racks. With Feliks' help, he was buried underneath them. He had a box full of different objects from sharpies to pillows. Every time he heard footsteps, he threw something. Eventually he ran out of objects and started throwing clothes. He was uncovered at one point and that's when security caught him. _  
_


	33. Commercials

_46. Broadcast K-mart commercials over the intercom_

Peter had a tape of K-Mart commercials. With Eduard's help, he started blasting them over the intercom. They ran before security showed up to change it._  
_


	34. King Kong

_67. Climb up a ladder & try doing a King Kong thing._

Alfred found a ladder. He climbed it, hung to the top railing by one hand and beat his chest with the other, making monkey noises. Ivan panicked. Security made him get down and kicked him out. _  
_


	35. Lemonade

_164. Pour a bunch of lemonade from the entrance to the bathroom and come out saying someone should have told me where the bathroom was quicker! _

Gilbert had a gallon of lemonade. Pouring it from the entrance, he made his way to the bathroom where he hid out in a stall from the security officer. Coming out, he announced "I should have been told where the bathroom was quicker." The security officer grabbed him and threw him out.


	36. Mary Had A Little Lamb

_223. Sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" as loud as you can in the music section, then smile and say "Well, it's the music section so I thought you might like some live music." Then sing it again. _

Feliciano skipped into the music section.

_Mary had a little lamb_

_Little lamb_

_Little lamb_

_Mary had a little lamb_

_With fleece as white as snow_

Everybody stared. Feliciano smiled. "It's the music section so I thought you might like some real music."

_Everywhere that Mary went_

_Mary went_

_Mary went_

_Everywhere that Mary went_

_The lamb would sure follow_

_It followed her to school one day_

_School one day_

_School one day_

_It followed her to school one day_

_Which was against the rules_

_It made the children laugh and play_

_Laugh and play_

_Laugh and play_

_It made the children laugh and play_

_To see a lamb at school_

Everybody applauded Feliciano.


	37. Poking

_52. Go up to random people and poke them. If they ask you what you're doing or tell you to stop, tell them that you're trying to find out what they ate for dinner last night_

Feliciano started poking people. "What are you doing?" They asked.

"I'm trying to find out what you ate for dinner last night," he replied.

"SECURITY!"

Feliciano got kicked out.


	38. Sing

_14. Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice_

"I walk these lonely streets!" Francis sang.

"Wrong song, dumbass!" Alfred shouted. "You're supposed to shriek Wake Me Up When September Ends!"

___Summer has come and passed__  
__The innocent can never last__  
__wake me up when September ends___

_like my father's come to pass__  
__seven years has gone so fast__  
__wake me up when September ends___

_here comes the rain again__  
__falling from the stars__  
__drenched in my pain again__  
__becoming who we are___

_as my memory rests__  
__but never forgets what I lost__  
__wake me up when September ends___

_summer has come and passed__  
__the innocent can never last__  
__wake me up when September ends___

_ring out the bells again__  
__like we did when spring began__  
__wake me up when September ends___

_here comes the rain again__  
__falling from the stars__  
__drenched in my pain again__  
__becoming who we are___

_as my memory rests__  
__but never forgets what I lost__  
__wake me up when September ends___

_Summer has come and passed__  
__The innocent can never last__  
__wake me up when September ends___

_like my father's come to pass__  
__twenty years has gone so fast__  
__wake me up when September ends__  
__wake me up when September ends__  
__wake me up when September ends_

The gathered crowd cheered. _  
_


	39. Tapping

_217. Tap dance through the store _

Feliciano got up and headed off down the aisle. He stopped and started to tap-dance. People came from all over the store to see him. He tapped through the whole store until every person had seen him.

"That was more interesting than annoying," said a security guard,_  
_


	40. Yard

_231. Scream, "GET OUT OF MY YARD!" to everyone who walks by you._

Ivan sat in a lawn chair. A random person walked by. "GET OUT OF MY YARD, DA!" The person jumped and ran. He did that to anybody who walked by, even his own sister. Security came and kicked him out. _  
_


	41. Bagels

_47. Go up to the bagel section with cream cheese all over your face. Then start chanting, "We love bagels! We love bagels!"_

Alfred and Matthew went into the bakery section. There was cream cheese on their faces. "We love bagels! We love bagels!" They chanted that until their mother made them wash their faces and wait outside for her. Alfred climbed into his car and drove off, leaving Matthew behind. _  
_


	42. Cream

_69. Grab a can of whipped cream & find a bald guy Spray it on his head _

"Alfred," said Matthew. "Do I have to?"

"Yeah, bro," said Alfred. "Do it."

Matthew got up. He walked into the grocery part of the store and picked up a can of whipped cream. He found a bald man behind a register, checking out a friend from school. He opened the can, shaking it and squirted. The man shouted and he ran as the girl laughed.


	43. Awesome Fries

_115. Go to the cafeteria area and buy fries. Then stand by the door and when people walk through throw the fries above their head like they're getting married_

"Al," said Gilbert. "Don't eat the ammo."

"I'm hungry," said Alfred, eating the fries.

A man walked through. It rained fries from Gilbert's side. It was a busy time. Before too long all the awesome fries were gone. Gilbert looked at Alfred. All of his were gone and he was drinking from his soda. He sighed. "This was so not awesome after all." He walked out, disappointed.


	44. Floor

_6. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas._

Francis followed the janitor. He was mobbing. He left a sign. Francis picked it up and brought into the clothing department, editing the sign to say 'Caution: this is Sparta." Heracles walked by, stared at it and then punched the next person hard enough to knock him clean out. A fight broke out.

Meanwhile, Yao happened across the wet floor. He slipped and fell. "MY BACK!" he shouted. "THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN AT TARGET!"


	45. Friends

_75. Go up to random people and ask them if they will be your friends then link arms and start to sing the friends theme song_

Feliciano was impossible to say no to. "Will you please be my friend, ve?" He begged. "I'll'a make you lots of pasta, si?" The older lady nodded. He linked arms with her. "I'll be there for you," he sang loudly. She paused, all she wanted was the doll for her Ivan but a Pole had made her buy him a pink handbag and now this Italian…


	46. Strider

_7. Hide in the center of the clothes circle where people find shirts, and jump out and yell "!"_

Alfred skipped off. He entered the clothing department and slipped inside the racks. A woman came up to look at the sweat pants. He jumped out at her. "!" She screamed and ran. The next was a kid in sunglasses. He jumped out and did it to him.

"Rock on, bro," the kid said. They fist bumped. "My name's Strider."

Alfred was impressed as Dave Strider left.

* * *

**I should be shot for throwing Dave in. Dave belongs to Andrew Hussie of Homestuck fame.**


	47. Tasty

88. Burp and say mmmm, tasty

Alfred stood out in the middle of the food court. He had had his favorite meal. All his friends watched. He went to refill his coke cup. On his way back, he stopped, opened his mouth and burped, loudly. Everybody stared. "Mmmm," he said, "tasty." Somebody gagged.


	48. Telephone

_167. Call the front desk and when they answer the phone say I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again. Then call and say I'm sorry, I will have to put you on hold. Can you call back? I'm busy on isle 3._

Gilbert picked up a phone. He dialed the front desk. "Hello?"

"I'm sorry but your awesome call could not be complete as dialed. Please hang up and try again," he said.

"What?" they said. "Hello?"

He hung up. "Kesesesesesesesese." A while later, he redialed.

"Hello?" said the same voice.

"I'm sorry, I'll have to put you on hold. Can I call you back? I'm being awesomely busy on aisle three." He hung up.

* * *

**Several of you have asked who Steven was. Steven is the name I gave Australia.**


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